


Bathtub Contact of the Third Degree

by Sigynthefaithful



Series: The Punishment of Loki (Maybe?) [2]
Category: AU - Fandom, Norse Mythology, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies), crossover - Fandom
Genre: Humor, M/M, Other, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 15:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigynthefaithful/pseuds/Sigynthefaithful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Avengers, sequel to "Viking Secrets Underneath", Loki continues to be a little shit, implied Thunderfrost, description of sexual activities, language warnings, assumptions on Alien planets and life forms, Hermaphrodite!Loki, don't read if you don't like, one shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bathtub Contact of the Third Degree

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Any comment is a good comment, so flay me raw!   
> Tell me who's the next Loki will pick on. Maybe not the good Cap, that would be too easy and maybe not Bruce. The Hulk scares the shit out of our beloved Liesmith. :oD

Contrary to the popular opinion, Frost giants were fond of warmth. Beneath the icy crust, Jötunheimr boiled with volcanic activity and there were many hot springs to be found. Jötnar even used them to warm their lodgings and their hothouses. Yes, they had hothouses and all the comforts hot springs and fumaroles provided. If the planet was closer to its sun, it would have probably been similar to Midgard or Vannaheimr, more water than land. But the way things were, only at the equator was the ocean not frozen over and propitious to fishing.

Loki wasn't an exception. He was blissfully marinating in the jacuzzi on Stark's personal floor, happy that the billionaire, playboy, genius, philanthropist – maybe not in that order, but who cared anyway? – rarely used it, mostly when he had beddable guests around. Speaking of which... since Thor's banishment on Midgard he stopped bedding Loki altogether and that didn't feel good. Nope... not at all... They were separated for a long time, but still... Loki's desire hasn't dampened at all, maybe it grew even worse. Was that woman – Jane – really capable of draining the Thunderer dry?! No Ásynja or other female in the Nine Realms could ever brag she could exhaust Thor on her own! Or did he stop being attracted to Loki since he found out of his true parentage? Whatever the reason, it hurt.

Loki sighed and closed his eyes, precious memories replaying on the inside of his lids. His hands started to wander about his torso, one slid lower and the neglected Master of Deceit started to do what he knew best: lying to himself. He began stroking himself slowly, biting his lips, breath increasing its tempo as he grew harder. He pinched his nipples and moaned, panting and writhing in the hot water. He slipped two fingers in the female entrance every Jötnar had between the testicles, pushing and pulling, remembering Thor's proud cock filling him perfectly...

He missed one heartbeat when he heard the door. He stopped all movement and opened his eyes, and there was the obnoxious owner of the jacuzzi and of the entire building surrounding it, wearing nothing but his birthday suit plus the fur he acquired in time, still wet from the shower, approaching the tub without embarrassment or hesitation, holding a bottle of some amber drink and two thick bottomed crystal glasses filled with ice cubes.

'Thank the Gods of Old he showered!', Loki thought, since Tony stepped right in, not minding the nearby alien creature. He approached the Jötun – who was mentally thanking again some God or other for the bubbles camouflaging his indecent condition – settled down on the ledge, put the glasses on the tub's edging, fixed the drinks and offered one to the Liesmith without a single word. Then he relaxed, leaned back and took a sip. Loki sniffled, smelled alcohol and some pleasant aroma. He sampled the drink and decided he liked the sharp taste, so different from the sweetness of mead, and the burn along the inside of his throat.

They just sat in the fizzing water keeping silent while they enjoyed their first drinks. Stark broke the silence.

"Jarvis, put on some ambient music, will you?"

The AI didn't answer, but soothing sounds started pouring out of the walls. Loki hummed in appreciation.

"I bet you don't have this on Asgard, Rudy." Tony said.

"I only gamble if I can win." Loki mumbled, handing back the glass.

Tony poured them another shot over the still large ice cubes. This time he touched his glass to Loki's and said: "Cheers!"

"Skál!" Loki replied mechanically.

„So, are you enjoying yourself so far? "

The Trickster shot him an icy glare. „Since it seems I can't enjoy anybody else..."

Tony snorted. "Right! I was wondering what would be to your liking? Blondes, brunettes, redheads, skinny, buxom... girls, boys..."

"It would be to my liking if you didn't overstep certain boundaries, Stark. Sharing a bath and a drink doesn't make us bosom buddies."

"Aw, Frosty! Come on! Don't you have guy talks over a drink in Asgard? About fights, hunts, horses, conquests?"

"And what makes you believe I would share such pleasantries with you, Tin Man?"

Tony raised his brows. "How come you know about that?"

"Unlike my b... Thor, I read. A lot. Fast. Now I also watch TV." Loki answered flatly, taking another sip."I find this invention highly educational if you select the right channels. The World Wide Web is also admirable... although sharing knowledge attracts enemies to it too..."

The liquor seemed to spread all over his body sending its languid warmth unto the extremities of his long limbs. The conversation with his host brought back happy memories of reckless carousing alongside Thor and his friends, of harmless tricks and pranks played only for honest fun...

Loki's smile was so pure, it made Tony gasp. The ex-villain suddenly looked so young and innocent... an illusion, no doubt. To mask his bewilderment, he grabbed his guest's glass and poured anew.

"I should go get us some more rocks..." he muttered.

"You forget what's sitting right next to you..." Loki said looking at Stark as if he was some pitiful intellectually underdeveloped kid. He stuck a finger into his glass and instantly produced icicles.

Tony didn't hesitate and presented his own for the same handling... fingering... nope! 'Not the best choice of words, Anthony Edward Stark!' he mentally admonished himself.

The Jötun finally loosened his tongue and funny tales started to flow easily off his lips. The two were soon laughing heartily, Tony goading Loki to tell stories more and more outrageous, asking him about the most ridiculous Norse myths, making him spill out shocking gossip about Ǽsir, Vanir, Alfar, Jötnar and even the feared Valkyrjur, the Queen's elite corps. In the meantime he didn't forget to fill the glass the storyteller dutifully emptied. His own went untouched most of the times. A distant bolt of lightning zigzagged in the evening sky, but it was too far for the sound to reach them through the thick glass of the windows.

Soon the Liesmith was cheerfully tipsy and now it was his turn to listen to Stark's indecent stories. The man had as much charisma and humor as the Silvertongue himself and had him burst in laughter over and over again. At some really scandalous description, Loki tilted his head back giggling delightedly. His long neck was incredibly appealing and the stretching raised his chest out of the water. Tony noticed that his areolas and nipples were a bit larger than it was usual for a man and, although he knew it was a bad, bad, bad idea, Tony!, he dared to touch. To his surprise what seemed only muscle to the eye was covered in a softer layer. The nipple hardened under his fingers, but the Jötun didn't seem upset, he just grinned playfully. When he also licked and bit his bottom lip, half lowering his lids and looking at the playboy through long, dark lashes, Tony stopped wavering and kissed Loki, a downright open-mouthed kiss, tongue and teeth included – no compliments needed, thank you very much – while kneading and pinching the tiny breast he palmed. The Liesmith moaned loudly right when the door abruptly opened, granting access to a ferocious looking Thor, just back from the evening patrol, armor, cape and Mjölnir at hand and all.

"Stop pawing at my brother, Man of Metal, while I'm still containing myself!" the Thunderer grumbled through gritting teeth, feet apart, hammer up halfway.

Tony jumped back three feet, causing the jacuzzi to spill over. He wasn't eager at all to see Thor in a berserker mode.

"I'm not your brother, sweetheart!" Loki sung, big, mischievous grin on his face, green eyes sparkling.

"You little shit! You knew he was coming! You played me like a violin, you son of a bitch!"

"That's enough! If this is true, then you deserved it! You tried to get him drunk and take advantage of that! I warn you, Stark, never attempt anything like this again, or I swear by my father's missing eye I'll forget we're shield brothers and break every bone in your body!"

Then he removed his cape and said: "Come out of the tub, Loki and let's get you to our chambers. Now, please! Don't make me haul you out by your oh-so-cherished tresses!"

"You savage brute! You would enjoy it too!" Loki muttered pouting, but obeyed and Thor swiftly wrapped the crimson fabric around his naked body. He held the Trickster in his arms just a little longer than needed, than released him with a frown.

Loki turned his back at him and headed towards the door and neither Thor, nor Tony could see his satisfied smirk.

"Jarvis, the silence command didn't apply to such a case! And was that you to direct Stormy in here? I'm starting to believe you do it on purpose..." the billionaire grumbled and filled his glass again.


End file.
